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Moya's Story
THE LIFE OF THE SECOND
By Moya Senstil
I tell you I did not ask to be born second. If it had been
up to me, I would have been the last. As the last, my lot in
life would be secured and easy. My parents would have seen to
all my needs until I either left home on my own or until they
died if I choose to stay with them. Sometimes, in those first
weeks at night in my cot here in Puddleby, loneliness would wash
over me like the rogue waves I have come to know so well here.
I would weep into my pillow and wish with all my heart I could
go back home. My life seemed so carefree then. Dear little
ses'thar, Mika, I hope you cherish your gift in life! Although
it was not my wish by choice, I believe after all it is for the
better that I am the second.
Life in our island port town was a delight. Nestled in a
small bay, our town rested high on the cliffs overlooking what
seemed to be the entire world. Perhaps it is just me being nostalgic
but I recall no cloudy or rainy days, only the sparkling bay,
azure blue skies, and whitewashed houses nestled against the
green hills. Ships with brightly colored sails would come in
everyday depositing all kinds of people, goods, wares, delights
and curiosities. Many of the people would stop by our home and
pay their respects to my Fei'thar. My Fei'thar was not only
the governor of the island but he also had a renown reputation
throughout the lands, something which has always been a source
of pride for me but also a sharp thorn of anguish. Do not misunderstand
me as I love my Fei'thar dearly and am very close to him probably
more so than my other two sisters.
Because of my Fei'thar's office, we would have great parties
and fetes. My ses'thars and I loved meeting the earnest young
men, who came courting, and hearing their tales of hope and conquest.
What fun we had dancing amid the candles and musicians. Many
a day was filled with picnics, hikes, boat trips to neighboring
isles, and whatever amusement would come our way. Many of the
people we met in those days, we never saw again as this is an
uncertain time we live in under the rule of so unstable an emperor.
It is my prayer to the sun and the moon that their dreams came
true for them.
As I listen to myself I do sound like a frivolous ninny!
I suppose it is more fun to remember the fun things. But, just
so you do not get the impression that we were raised to be silly,
giddy Ilsardin, I will tell you about our education. Education
was taken very seriously in our family. You see we had this
very old tradition to uphold, so old that it predates the Ascendancy.
Great emphasis was placed on knowing history, literature, politics,
mathematics and geography. We also received lessons in music
according to the instrument of our choice, art, cooking and self-defense.
I wish I could say I was naturally a stellar student but that
was my older ses'thar's talent. Ancel could learn the most intricate
theory, problem, solution, or sonata in the blink of an eye.
I am glad that Ancel has that talent and I believe it will help
her in her destiny. As the first, Ancel will follow my Fei'thar's
footsteps and become the next, receiving her training directly
from our Fei'thar.
I, on the other hand, spent many a late night and precious
weekend going over and over my lessons. It's a wonder that I
do not have permanent bags under my eyes from the many late nights!
True enough my hard work paid off as my tutors gave me high
marks in almost every subject except mathematics, astronomy and
economics. Something about numbers just makes me cross-eyed!
Why all this education? You see, it's that tradition I mentioned
earlier. I come from a long, and I do mean long, line of a profession
shrouded in secrecy. It is not even mentioned amongst the immediate
family what it is we do. And yet, I can tell you that my family
is known for our ability in this area and have been sought by
men and women from potentates to the pauper. My Fei'thar has
an extreme talent in this area. Naturally, it was felt by the
elders in our family that+ his offspring would also have his
talent. By nature, I neither believe I am secretive nor possessed
of my Fei'thar's talent. Certainly, I lost many games that required
I suppose you could say a bit of circumspection to my ses'thars.
My Ma'tan always knew when I was covering up something for my
ses'thars. (Perhaps I really wanted Ma'tan to know what trouble
they were getting into!) Then, again I do know how to keep my
own counsel when I need to and that may be enough.
Why is that I resented being the second child you ask? Well,
you see, this tradition in our august family commands that the
second child go out into the world and find his or her way to
enlightenment. In other words, I must find my own training and
edification. All that the second is given is fare for the ship,
some provisiòons and a change of clothes. If you get
into trouble you cannot expect any help from home. Worst of
all, you can only return home if your quest for enlightenment
is successful. For at least 3 centuries, generations of second
born children have ventured out into the world seeking their
way. Only a rarefied few have succeeded, but most quite frankly
have never been heard of again. Maybe some gave up on their
quests and are living a life anonymously away from the weight
our family tradition. However, we are all raised with this incredible
sense of duty so I suspect most continued in their quests to
the best of their ability. Still, growing up hearing the stories
about how Uncle Vlad was eaten up by death furies and Aunt Pattie
was torn to shreds, etc. did not exactly make me thrilled about
my future.
Unfortunately, even if I really wanted to do something different,
there was not much I could do about my destiny other than be
prepared. I have given this issue much thought and at the end
of the day I would rather be a part of my family -- even though
far away -- than cut off forever. Believe me, I have read everything
I could about survival and practiced most diligently every self
defense move I could wring out of the tutor. I do not plan on
being a footnote in our family history.
Thus, on my 17th birthday, I was given a party and said goodbye
to all my family and friends. I won't tell you how many tears
were shed that night. While the guests danced, I sat in my Fei'thar's
study and spoke long into the night with him. I shall always
remember his lined face in the flickering firelight smiling tenderly
at me. In planning how I was going to get started on my journey,
my dear Fei'thar had heard that a surprising number of our kind
were increasing on the island of Lok'Groton. Strange to think
that a land of the Emperor's castaways would have anything flourishing
on it, especially since lit was rumored to be a penal colony
for mass murderers and insane criminals. Still, it sounded somewhat
more promising than other choices and at least a bit civilized.
I tried to sleep after the ball but found my head was too
full of thoughts and my heart too full of emotions. Shortly
before dawn, I arose, gathered my few allotted possessions, and
kissed the cheeks of my still sleeping sisters. Ma'tan was already
up and bustling around and being too much too brisk. We shared
a last quiet moment over hot tea and toast until it was time
to board the Atark and sailed away from my jewel of a home.
Just as I was taking my leave, she patted me on my cheek and
told me to not dawdle and hurry home. She quickly turned away
and fled to her rooms. I stood looking at her disappearing form
fighting the urge to follow her and to hold her close to me.
After a long and really uneventful voyage, I arrived at Puddleby.
I will not bore you with my impressions of my new home, except
to say that now I have been here several months now and I have
come to like it here most of the time. The rumors Fei'thar and
I had heard about this island are mostly unfounded to my great
relief. Truly, I cannot complain terribly much about my lot
of being the second. The information my Fei'thar received on
Lok'Groton about our kind was quite accurate and has prepared
me well.
Although I had to leave my parents and my sisters, my friends
and all the fine clothes and jewelry, I find that I am enjoying
the challenges of each day the sun brings and appreciate the
sleep that the moon brings. Each day I awake I give thanks that
I have lived to see another day and look forward to the day's
adventure, which I know will not be the same as yesterday's.
I want you to know I do so terribly miss Kumoi, my big bear
of a dog. He could be such a comfort and there are times I would
dearly love to see his big shaggy face and be greeted by a wet
sloppy kiss. Perhaps I will meet another dog like Kumoi to befriend
me. Nonetheless, I have met very nice people, who have been
very helpful and kind to a stranger. One kind lady felt pity
on me when she happened upon me once again mending my threadbare
gown. The enlightenment I seek is not kind to clothing at all.
Further, I have made progress, howbeit very slow, on my path
to enlightenment. Most of all, I have a small hope that I will
be successful in my studies and perhaps I will be able to go
home one day. Time will tell.
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